2/100
If I had written this blog post at 8am this morning when I got the incredible brain storm for it, I would have called it "I HATE lunch!". And while I still do... hate lunch that is... I had an experience today that brought a shift for me in my relationship to food and to my noon time meal.
In general, my past history has meant hating lunch time. I never know what to pack, I get food coma by 2pm if I eat at the deli across the street and I spend too much money and time worrying about it. If I haven't figured out lunch by the time I leave in the morning at 8am, by 10am I start thinking... god... what am I doing for lunch today? I am almost always too busy in the morning to bother packing something,then I'm super busy at work until noon. Worse, when I *do* pack something, usually I've just thrown it together before running out of the house and by noon? I don't want it anymore.
This morning I decided to do a recipe search for lunch items that are easy and healthy. I figured if I could find some easy recipes that I could make the night before and have ready to go in the morning, it would go a long way in solving my lunch drama. While scouring the internet, I came across two sites: laptop lunches and bento lunch livejournal - I was hooked! If I had written in my blog this morning? I would have gone on and on about how cute the boxes are, how fun they look... how easy it will be to put together nice, simple, healthy meals.. blah blah blah. And while I still think that, a funny thing happened on the way to the forum...er... Asian grocery store...
So, I loaded my dreams and my butt into my car and headed down to Uwajimaya in Bellevue to buy me some bento boxes. I called my sister and asked her if she wanted in on my BIG NEW IDEA (I have a lot of those) and she was game... so my goal? Two bento boxes of happiness.
I got to the store ready to buy my bento!
Still couldn't find what I wanted. Back and forth I went, maybe 5 times? Then I started surreptitiously opening the packages to see the cute little boxes inside. STILL NOT HAPPY. I stood there, looking at the bento boxes trying to figure out what was wrong.
Then it hit me. My crazy voice in my head said...
No way MK, these boxes are waaaay TOO SMALL!
I stared at the tiny boxes.
You can't POSSIBLY be satisfied with the amount of food you can shove in these tiny boxes!
I kinda started to panic.
It isn't enough food I tell you!!!
My voice screamed at me so loudly I was worried the Asian lady next to me was going to start staring.
It's all a HOAX! Those website people took photos of their bento boxes up close! Made them look bigger. IT'S NOT FAIR!!! IT'S the BIG LIE!!!!! You neeeeed a bigger bento box!
As I stood in the middle of Uwajimaya, I realized I was getting pretty anxious.
You don't honestly think that is going to be enough food do you? Put those 'baby' boxes back. Go home, go online and BUY some ADULT sized bento boxes!
I put the bento boxes down. I picked them up. I put them down. I hadn't eaten since 8am and it was 2pm, I was hungry and decided to get some sushi at the cafe they have in the store. Perfect opportunity to contemplate bento boxes.
I grabbed a 6 piece California roll, paid and sat down. I got out my chopsticks and began popping out the cucumber and setting it aside. As I sat eating my 6 piece California roll I focused on eating slowly and enjoying each bite. I let go of the bento drama and just appreciated the flavor (even if it was krab with a "k) of the fresh sushi roll. I began to realize that I have been thinking about lunch all wrong. My meal was finished and I was fine. Not screaming full, but fine. I went over and bought 3 marble sized red bean sesame rolls (yum!) and after I ate those I realized I was happily full. ALL the lunch I had just eaten would easily fit into the little bento boxes I had refused to put in my cart. Heck, I could even add a peach slice, or some tomato slices or or or...
I took a deep breath and centered myself. I said to that anxious little voice inside, "Hey crazy voice, it's going to be okay. See? We aren't still hungry. We can let go of the image of the huge burger with fries and a large iced tea for lunch. I promise I won't let you get too hungry, but I think we can honestly be happy with the food we can fit in the bento box. Really! We're cool."
I felt better. I went over, picked out two bento boxes, a nice a rice steamer, wandered around and found lots of cool new foods, checked out and then headed off to Trader Joe's to finish my shopping day.
Today ended up being about understanding how easily I have fallen victim to huge portion sizes being 'normal' and how, when I listen to my body, I really DO know when I am full. It's a big shift in how I see food and how I relate to my body.
So yay for the bento box. This blog entry certainly wasn't the blog I *thought* I was going to write today, but funny how it is turned out to be the blog I needed to write.
:)
Peace,
MaryKate
ETA:
This is my first attempt at a Bento lunch... maybe not beautiful... but it's a start. It's a salmon patty with garlic/lemon mayo. Thai peanut rice with scallions and celery with raisins and peanut butter. Two little raspberries add color :).
