Monday, February 28, 2011

Tri what???

79/100

I have wanted to do a triathlon for seven years now. I get excited about it... I think I can do it on my own. I start to train. In a week? I've given up. I tuck away those feelings of failure and just move on. People just smile now and I am sure they think 'oh sure she's talking about that triathlon thing again'. I know I like to dream. And I know, I like to imagine me having already DONE the thing... but I actually SIGNED UP for one!

One of the wonderful things about my life, is that when I really put the energy out to the Universe that I want to do something? Wheels starts turning and *boom* it pretty much happens. Not always in the way I thought it would happen, but when I am open to life and let go of control? It really seems to work itself out beautifully.

So... about two weeks ago, I decided it was time to get back to working on my weight and my exercise. It's been a lifelong issue with me. My struggles with weight. I remember about seven years ago, I had lost a bunch of weight. I went with my sister shopping. I tried on a pair of tight leather pants. I walked out and my sister told me I looked *hot*. I went back into the dressing room, panicked, started to cry, took off the leather pants and within a month put the all the weight back on (and then some for good measure)... that was sort of the last time I really invested in losing weight.

But since I started writing this blog, since I really started digging into my 'stuff', I've realized I like myself more. I still have issues (don't we all?), but I realize I have made some shifts in how I see who I am. At lunch the other day with my friend Lori, I said that within a relationship I often have a difficult time speaking up for what I really need. She just shook he head and said, "I don't get it MK, how is it *you* can't see what everyone else around you sees? That you are this amazing, strong, wonderful woman?" I couldn't answer her. For most of my life I did *not* see that. And heaven knows, my self confidence and self image took some beatings over the last year. I had few reserves to pull upon to boost myself back up - I mean I have amazing friends who never let me fall *too* far. But finding that resolve within myself and that confidence inside has taken me a while. But within the last month or so, I have realized I feel like I am back on track. I feel like I have found that spark inside of me again - I feel alive and I feel back in the flow of my own life, not trying to swim against it.

So when I said to myself, I'm ready to get back into an exercise program, *poof* two days later my friend Trish mentions to me that she has signed up for a triathlon to support breast cancer! SCORE! Next thing I know? I have signed up as well. I'm excited about it. It's sort of a baby triathlon, but it's perfect! And I am not doing it alone, I'm doing it with someone who isn't counting on me, but *is* excited to share the journey with me.

So, things are moving in my world. I feel like I was stuck for a while... but here I go, back on to my next adventure. I didn't make it up at 6:30am today to workout, but I will either go tonight or go swimming at my place. I think the important part is to do something every day, not get hung up on when the plan for that morning takes a left turn. My goal is to do *something* and keep working towards it. I have to get to the point where I can swim 1/2 mile, bike 12 miles and run 3.1 miles! I can do this! If you think you might want to come with? Let me know :).

I'm excited and nervous, but I think this means I will *finally* get a bike that I like! *laughter*

Peace,

MaryKate

10 comments:

Crystal said...

MK!!! YAHOOOOOOOOO!!!! GOOD FOR YOU! I know you can do it! RAH RAH RAH!!!

*gets out pom poms to cheer you on*

MaryKate said...

*grin* You COULD come down to Seattle that week, spend a week with me AND do the triathlon with me. Just sayin... *lol*

lwk said...

I'm all over this -- which one is it, when is it and where do I sign up!?! (you know how I feel about the BC cause!)

Love you, and happy that you are starting to see and appreciate the MK we all know and love

lori

MaryKate said...

http://www.danskintriathlon.net/

lovelovelove you toooo!

Unknown said...

Way to go MK!!! We rock!!!

MaryKate said...

We do indeed Traci! <3

jeanie said...

wow. this is inspiring. think i'll start training now for next year.

MaryKate said...

There's 6 months this year if you want to join in! :D

My Musings said...

You never cease to amaze me. That's what I love most about you - you jump in and go for it all. It's time you did see your beautiful self the way the rest of us do. Triathelon, well, not for this broad, but you've got me in your cheering corner.

MaryKate said...

*smile* thanks for the vote of confidence! <3 much <3 to you as well.