Mooooving on Down...


7/100

So, today makes 7 days since starting 'my weigh out' and the scale is moving back in the 'healthy' direction. Movement is actually key, and it's soooo hard for me. I was talking to my boss the other day and she was telling me about 'incidental exercise' and how valuable it is to simply add little movements to your day. Exercise doesn't have to be some 'big deal'... which I have made it be most of my life.

I don't know why exercise is so hard for me... I didn't always hate exercise. As a kid, I used to walk all the time or hang out at the pool all summer. But even as a kid I was overweight. It's almost as if when I was about 8 I got off track and was never really able to get back my enjoyment in exercise. The more complicated things were at home? The meaner kids were, the meaner *I* was, the fewer friends I had and the more food was a retreat. My life wasn't horrible, it was complicated though. And amongst all that my relationship to food also got complicated.

The heavier I got? The harder it was to exercise. The more exercise hurt. And the more my body hurt. So, I'd start some intense exercise regimen, but somewhere along the way, I'l lose the follow through. Then, feeling like an even bigger failure I'd retreat to food. The whole cycle became so overwhelming it got to the point I became afraid to try.  It was as if I already knew I was going to fail, why bother. And? As I became an adult, I exercised less and less and spent more and more time with food, around food, and basing many of my social relationships around food. Food was safe, right? But I hated food as much as I loved it.

So, once again I'm working on adding more movement to my life. Not huge moving, but this time, just pushing myself to move a little more every day. Today? I did 20 laps and exercised my arms and legs with resistance in the water. I didn't say to myself, OKAY self, time to go EXERCISE, I just swam until I was happy and then added arm and leg work with water resistance exercise gear. It was fun, I sat in the hot tub after words with my sister and we talked and enjoyed each other's company. And? I can feel in my body that I moved today. I like that feeling :).

Now you exercisy people out there? You can say "that isn't really exercise" but it is. It is incidental exercise. It is parking farther away, it is walking across the distance to a coworker's office to ask a question instead of sending an email. It is walking to the 'other' water dispenser. It is walking to get my mail instead of getting it on my way home from my car window. It's little moments of choosing something different that add up to a change in my life that I can live with. Adding even simple movements help and someday? If I do this more and more, I won't have to think, I should park farther away. or I should walk those extra steps instead of taking the escalator. Instead, it will be second nature.

Also? Once I feel more in shape, I think I'll be more inclined to exercise. I have a small tredmill in my house, I have the pool, I have a trampoline... none of those have to be forced, they are all convenient and my only goal is to use them. Just using them is something simple and something I can easily attain. Something I won't beat myself up for if I'm not perfect about it. But each day I do a little more exercise is a day I become more healthy. Eventually? I'll probably have to push myself a lot harder, but being healthy isn't about pushing myself right now. It's about making my life healthier and making changes that are meaningful and something I can continue the rest of my life.

I'm already seeing the small changes in my body and in my attitude about what I am eating, how I am eating and how I am moving. It's good and I know these small changes may not change the world, but they've started to change mine :).

Peace,
MaryKate