3/100
A friend of mine posted a question to me on my facebook page (I'm pretty sure she'll be okay with me reposting it ;) )
Read your blog so far. Yes, accountability is absolutely the key. I would be curious to know more what issues you discovered were foundational to your love of food because I've never been able to figure that out about myself.
This blog? Isn't actually a response to her question - although I am sure eventually I'll share some of those issues. *lol* It's about the initial reaction I had to her question.
This friend of mine, to me, is thin. When I read her question, I thought to myself, why is she asking me about weight issues?... she's beautiful! She has a body I would *love* to have. So, while I was making my dinner tonight, I processed some of my reactions to her question. I started to think about some of the other women I work with and that are in my life. So many of them seem to be constantly worried about what they eat, how they eat, when they eat, if they eat...
I thought about when I first had the idea to start a '100 days of being healthy' blog. It was this summer; my goddaughter's girl scout troop was going to Cedar Point and she asked me to go. I panicked. You know how they have height requirements for rides where in order to ride, you have to be a certain height? Well, at Cedar Point now, they have 'size' restrictions. They have a sample 'seat' at the start of the line for the ride. If you get in the seat and it won't lock? You can't get on the ride. Seven years ago, when I went to Cedar Point, I barely fit into some of those seats. That was thirty pounds ago. I couldn't imagine the humiliation of my goddaughter looking at me and me having to say to her "Sorry babygirl, I can't go on this ride with you." Mind you, she wouldn't have been upset, she would have likely shrugged her shoulders and said, 'Let's find a different one"... or "Can I go with my friends then?" But I couldn't handle having to face the embarrassment of it. I also knew a whole day of walking around Cedar Point in the sun? Would be too much for me. So I didn't go with her.
When I think about being overweight (and according to my BMI I am morbidly obese - ouch it stings just writing that), I think about what that means in my world. Issues with airplanes, issues with rides, issues with some theater seats, issues with chairs, issues with certain beds, issues with how and where I sleep, issues with blood sugar and issues with my general health. What I hadn't thought about is that a woman you might look at and think "wow, she's so thin and beautiful" might very well have issues with her body. Heck, she is likely to have issues with her body. Those issues are probably different than the ones I struggle with, but just as valid and just as difficult for her to navigate.
Getting healthy for me isn't about getting thin. There are some amazingly beautiful women that I work with and others that I am friends with that have just as 'big' of body issues as I have. Being 'thin' has nothing to do with letting go of body issues - it's no magic cure. As my sister once said to me, "There's no such thing as emotional bypass surgery." Getting thin doesn't cure anything. I am not writing this blog and eating better and exercising more to 'get thin'. Because clearly ' being thin' has nothing to do with being happy with your body.
I'm going on this journey so that I like myself better. So that I wake up feeling better and so that I can go into a store, buy clothes and not hate or want to scream at or be incredibly depressed about what I see. What I 'weigh' isn't as important to me as the 'way' I see myself. I'm learning to appreciate who I am and that is what truly matters.
Well... and fitting into the seats at Cedar Point! Because Mads? Next summer? You better be ready!
Peace,
MaryKate
A friend of mine posted a question to me on my facebook page (I'm pretty sure she'll be okay with me reposting it ;) )
Read your blog so far. Yes, accountability is absolutely the key. I would be curious to know more what issues you discovered were foundational to your love of food because I've never been able to figure that out about myself.
This blog? Isn't actually a response to her question - although I am sure eventually I'll share some of those issues. *lol* It's about the initial reaction I had to her question.
This friend of mine, to me, is thin. When I read her question, I thought to myself, why is she asking me about weight issues?... she's beautiful! She has a body I would *love* to have. So, while I was making my dinner tonight, I processed some of my reactions to her question. I started to think about some of the other women I work with and that are in my life. So many of them seem to be constantly worried about what they eat, how they eat, when they eat, if they eat...
I thought about when I first had the idea to start a '100 days of being healthy' blog. It was this summer; my goddaughter's girl scout troop was going to Cedar Point and she asked me to go. I panicked. You know how they have height requirements for rides where in order to ride, you have to be a certain height? Well, at Cedar Point now, they have 'size' restrictions. They have a sample 'seat' at the start of the line for the ride. If you get in the seat and it won't lock? You can't get on the ride. Seven years ago, when I went to Cedar Point, I barely fit into some of those seats. That was thirty pounds ago. I couldn't imagine the humiliation of my goddaughter looking at me and me having to say to her "Sorry babygirl, I can't go on this ride with you." Mind you, she wouldn't have been upset, she would have likely shrugged her shoulders and said, 'Let's find a different one"... or "Can I go with my friends then?" But I couldn't handle having to face the embarrassment of it. I also knew a whole day of walking around Cedar Point in the sun? Would be too much for me. So I didn't go with her.
When I think about being overweight (and according to my BMI I am morbidly obese - ouch it stings just writing that), I think about what that means in my world. Issues with airplanes, issues with rides, issues with some theater seats, issues with chairs, issues with certain beds, issues with how and where I sleep, issues with blood sugar and issues with my general health. What I hadn't thought about is that a woman you might look at and think "wow, she's so thin and beautiful" might very well have issues with her body. Heck, she is likely to have issues with her body. Those issues are probably different than the ones I struggle with, but just as valid and just as difficult for her to navigate.
Getting healthy for me isn't about getting thin. There are some amazingly beautiful women that I work with and others that I am friends with that have just as 'big' of body issues as I have. Being 'thin' has nothing to do with letting go of body issues - it's no magic cure. As my sister once said to me, "There's no such thing as emotional bypass surgery." Getting thin doesn't cure anything. I am not writing this blog and eating better and exercising more to 'get thin'. Because clearly ' being thin' has nothing to do with being happy with your body.
I'm going on this journey so that I like myself better. So that I wake up feeling better and so that I can go into a store, buy clothes and not hate or want to scream at or be incredibly depressed about what I see. What I 'weigh' isn't as important to me as the 'way' I see myself. I'm learning to appreciate who I am and that is what truly matters.
Well... and fitting into the seats at Cedar Point! Because Mads? Next summer? You better be ready!
Peace,
MaryKate
2 comments:
Okay...maybe I'm just emotional today, but this one made me cry.
Christina
<3 you Christina...
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