Silence is Golden
23/100
Sometimes? I am pretty sure I talk too much. All the time? I know I think too much. My best friend, after reading my blog said to me yesterday, "Wow MK, I had no idea you spent so much time thinking."
I do think too much. My mind never stops. I have a narrator that is conversing with me almost all the time. I am constantly processing, predicting, analyzing, trying to figure out others want, then secondly what I want. People think I am 'all about me' and I always joke that it is all about me, but really? I spend just about all of my time thinking about others and trying to respectful, considerate and I worry a great deal about what others are thinking or needing. That's me, always thinking. Not only when I am awake but even at night when I dream. I have crazy dreams... ask me about them some time. I had to have a sleep test once. When it was over, the guy doing the test said, "wow, you dream a lot don't you?"
I remember when I was learning shamanic journey work. The goal was to listen to a drum and go on a journey. Even during my journey work? It was as if I had a narrator going along with me 'telling me the story' of my journey. Always the story teller.
The voice inside my head is sometimes compassionate, sometimes kind, sometimes honest, sometimes cruel, and always on stage. That internal narrator can be both supportive and destructive. I used to think everyone had a narrator in her head talking to her discussing everything she does with her. Um, apparently? Not so much.
In order to be healthy? I have to learn to quiet that voice sometimes. I want to learn meditation, perhaps that is a good way to quiet my mind. I've tried before, wasn't really successful, but I'm ready to try again.
Because sometimes? Silence really is golden.
Peace,
MaryKate
3 comments:
You are kidding me, right? Everybody has one don't they? I just thought it was 'normal'. You don't know how many times I've had to try to remember whether I really had that conversation or wrote that email or whether I just thought the whole thing (and I do mean whole).
traci
p.s. I definately talk too much! :)
I can't stress enough the importance of meditation. I also have an ever working brain--i even study in my sleep (now that's messed up). And as hard as it was for me to teach myself meditation, I can't live without it. Try guided meditation first if you've had difficulties. I prefer mantras, but guided is an easier starting point:)
@Traci hahahaah I thought everyone had one too... but some of my friends when I tell them how my brain works say, "really? You think THAT much??" *lol*
@Leanna *nods* Shamanic work was great but it didn't really 'still' my mind. I'm going to look into some meditation classes to see if that helps. Guided meditation doesn't really work for me because I pay more attention to the story! *lol* It's very hard for me to 'just let go' and have the experience. I might just go back to journey work... that was relatively successful...
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