Dating again...hmmm

45/100

Soooo I have decided I think I am ready to enter back into the world of 'dating' again. I think enough time has passed and I believe I have resolved issues with the end of previous relationships. I wish I was more excited. I mean I *am* excited and I've talked to some really nice guys... It's just kind of daunting and it can be an emotional roller coaster ride.

I realized this time I am in a new space. Confident in myself and not desperate for anyone or any particular experience. I cut ties that have lasted a long, long time. It feels almost odd not to carry them around, but I find myself so much happier without them.

I'm down a few more pounds I'm not in any hurry with that either. I am who I am. :). I suppose that makes 30 since January. I'm hoping to make it closer to 50 by the time January rolls around again. I'll keep you posted. *chuckle* I have water slides to navigate again and a goddaughter who will drag me on every one of them! *smile*

So I've checked a few different web sites. I'm not completely sure I want to dig into web sites again. Lord. It's the bars of the 80s and I hated those. The biggest problem I find with online dating is that when you meet someone online, it is so easy to fall into unrealistic expectations based on email conversations. I always find it a good idea to meet quickly... But one thing I have realized? I don't want to settle for 'comfortable'. I've watched people do that and it doesn't usually end well. And? *I* don't want to be the one settled with... so hey... it could take some time to find that good guy in my life... 

I am a relatively optimistic person :). I like that about myself. And I believe? There is a good guy out there because I am a good gal and there is someone out there that will appreciate that and not dump me for... well... someone else. So on the one hand? I'm pretty excited about meeting that person. On the other hand? Online dating seems like a meat market of high expectations and old photos that are supposed to be 'recent'. Okay guys... I may be a bad judge of age, but you are NOT 49. Ummm? Being honest is such a better policy... And sometimes some of these websites people get to 'rate' your profile! I had enough of people 'rating' me in high school. I think I will avoid those sites.

I think I'll also avoid the people who just send me messages without even reading my profile. For example this fine 'hello' from a  ' conservative, god-loving, christian, romantic guy'.  I wrote back, "Hi! I'm not sure that a conservative god-loving christian would really want to spend much time with a bleeding heart liberal pagan. Best wishes" I'm not a pagan, but I thought... wow dude... did you even LOOK at my profile? I'm going with NO. Thus? I'm gonna pass on desperate. I'm also passing on "well he's nice so I'll say hello back." If I read a profile and I'm not interested? I'm not going to spend a lot of time 'chatting'. Maybe that sounds crazy but I have so many wonderful friends in my life already... I'm not really looking for a good friend. And I simply can't see myself being deeply involved with someone who doesn't share most of my core values, I tried that once. Not such a great idea.

I also think that I would rather meet someone upfront somewhere. Maybe in a real place. I wonder if I want to join an organization, or a spiritual group... I don't know. I had a dream about it - I trust those. So I guess I'll just take this experience as I see it and feel it. One day at a time. I trust that life will unfold.

I have had people tell me that a relationship will just happen if it is meant to. I relay the following joke in that situation: A (blond, wolverine, brunette, pick your inappropriate social group here) was sitting in the living room of her house. She prayed to God to win the lottery. No luck. Next night she says if God will let her win the  lottery, she will buy a new house and fill it with paintings of saints! Nothing. Next night? She gets really desperate so she begs God that if God will let her win the lottery she will buy a house fill it with saints, help the poor and needy and adopt orphans. Finally, God gets frustrated and says to her, "Hey how about you start by BUYING a LOTTERY ticket!!!!"

dah dum dum! And thus my weak but appropriate example.

I don't think that things 'just happen'. I also don't think you can force something to happen if it isn't going to. In order to meet someone I have to be willing to risk and put myself out there. I'm willing to do that and I'm willing to pay the price of admission. I guess I'll just see what happens next and enjoy the experience as I go... :)

Peace,

MaryKate