Morning Has Broken...

30/100

It's 7:15am. I have 15 minutes to write this, then I need to shower and head to work. Today is my busiest day at work and it will be twice as hard considering I got 4 hours of sleep last night. I got up at 4am this morning and even though my body wanted to crawl back under those soft covers, my brain turned on. I tried to force the issue... sleep isn't usually a problem for me, but this morning? It wasn't happening. Finally at 5:30 I gave up and made some breakfast. Two soft boiled eggs. yay comfort food.

I sat in the quiet and the dark and looked out the window at the fog. I listened to the silence. I decided that sitting and feeling bad wasn't a solution. Hearts don't mend that way. So, I put on my swim suit and went and did laps. Twenty to be exact. Then I did some arm and leg exercises using the water for resistance. It felt good. Being in the water felt good. I suppose I am part mermaid. The water was a comfortable 82 and I watched the sky get lighter and lighter while I swam and enjoyed the early morning.

I would love to write how much better I feel and how the world is a nifty place and the sun and clouds are all singing now. They aren't though. It's still foggy out. I'm still exhausted and today is still my longest day at work. But I do feel better. I feel better because even though I am exhausted, even though I want nothing more than to sit here with my coffee, call in sick and just melt into my chair today, I'm not going to. And I'm not going to because I am one of those lucky people in this world that loves her job. I love what I do, I love where I do it and I love that the people I work with are such an amazing group of people. Every day when I go to work I feel like I am making a difference. I feel like I am touching lives. And every day, I feel like those people and those kids are touching my life as well. My students remind me what it is to be young and while I can live without their drama in my life, seeing all that teen angst reminds me what it is to be young, crazy and full of innocence about the world. Of course every teenager will tell you they aren't innocent... and hey... I've had students that have done things by 13 that I have never done at 43. But they are still innocent. A few know about how hard life can be and a few know about the pain that love often brings.

But most of them? Most of them are young and they believe they can change the world. I want them to do that. And I am grateful each day that they remind me that I am changing the world as well. They remind me not to give up. They remind me that being young and being alive may look different when you are 15, but even at 43 I am still young. And? I am still alive.

For me, I could ask for no better situation in my life. And this morning, I am taking stock in my life and the wonderful and amazing things I have in it. While I may not have 'him', I have family I love, friends I love, people around me I love and a wonderful job that nourishes me and allows me the freedom to teach in a way that I don't burn out and my students are challenged and nourished as well.

And finally? I have my health. And today of all days, the day my best friend has yet *another* surgery to try to reconstruct her breasts I am grateful she is alive and cancer free. And that even though this is the hardest surgery yet, I believe she is strong, and I know God isn't done with her yet. So, I'm taking a moment to send her some love and healing energy as well. Because as selfish as I am, when I called her crying yesterday, the day before she had to have major reconstructive surgery, not only did she listen but she held my space until I stopped being all about me and could hold her space. Together we shared our fears, our concerns and we looked forward to the future together.

So while this isn't an 'easy' morning, it is a new one. And with that note... I have to get moving. It's 7:30 and I have a long day ahead of me.

Peace,

MaryKate