What's love got to do, got to do with it?

29/100

So, my best friend says there is nothing harder to get over than heart break. I think it is because one invests so much of oneself in love. Love is this amazing thing and it reaches in so deeply. And it hurts so painfully when it ends. No matter how much you wish the other person well, breaking up with someone, or being the one broken up with? Is painful.

My sister says that you can't be friends with a former lover. She's not even sure men and women can be 'friends'. I think men and women can be friends, but I don't think that someone in a relationship can 'hang out' with a single person of the opposite sex and not have it affect the primary relationship. I suppose that is another story. Or another blog entry.

I don't know if you can be 'buddies' with someone you once loved. Perhaps if you 'cared' about them but weren't 'inlove'... I don't know. I don't even know that I can explain the difference between love and 'in love' but I know how it feels. And it feels different.

But heartbreak tonight pretty much feels like someone has pulled out my heart, tossed it on the floor and after six beers and nothing to eat decided to dance on it wearing clogs.

However, I'm trying to see heartbreak as an opportunity to let go. To make peace with the past, accept that one phase of life is over and a new phase is beginning. It's just a little scary. Thinking about starting over. But I suppose heartbreak only defeats you when you give up. When you doubt your capacity to love. When you hate your ex or hate your ex's new love interest. Or just hate yourself for hating. That's a lot of hate. Doesn't seem healthy to me.

So... tonight I wanted to eat an entire truckload of food. Deep fried to be exact. Deep deep fried. Oh, and crunchy. But I didn't. It was late, I hadn't eaten much and I knew I was hungry. I had a simple dinner with no dairy and not too many calories. I felt full and I knew I made a good choice because nothing was frozen or deep fried..

Maybe I'm finally getting the food thing figured out. Now I just need to work on the exercise. And hey, if my dad can get over heart break at 83, I can manage it at almost 43.

Peace,

MaryKate