Wednesday, October 06, 2010

My Wild Days? Ain't Over Yet... 
50/100

Today is day 50. Well, 50ish. I'm halfway through my goal of 100 days. Can someone please tell me why I didn't pick 30 days?

So I've learned at the halfway point, that it takes more than just me writing to be healthy. I have to move... I have started moving more and I can already tell the difference. I've preordered Just Dance2 for the Wii -it's coming out next week. That should be fun exercise as well...

I've also learned that maybe? I'm not really ready to date yet. Who knows. I think I'm going to be clear about what I am seeking, then step back let go of trying to meet people on the internet and focus on fostering the relationships already in my life. I also want to follow my heart and find a group or two to get involved with - spiritually or maybe musically. I'm thinking letting it grow organically might be the best option in my world.

I feel like I have a better understanding of my world, my relationship to food and my relationship to myself. I still stumble but I really do keep getting back up.

There really isn't anything harder than heartbreak to navigate, and I feel like I am slowly finding peace and my centeredness again. Maybe it is a lot easier for some people to move on than others. I know for me? It isn't ever easy or quick. It takes a long time for the hopes and dreams I had to fully release and for me to be free of the visions I had for a future that isn't going to come to pass. These next 50 days for me are going to continue to be focused on being healthy, eating well, exercising, deepening my connection to my spirit and enjoying my time with my circle of people around me that offer me love and support. I have a lot to learn; each day I find something more that I didn't realize about myself and about how I relate to people in the world.

I don't suppose I'll ever reach a point where I am 'done' being healthy or 'done' working on being a better person. I grow because I feel compelled to understand myself better. I feel compelled to understand my relationship to my spirituality better. I feel compelled to understand my relationship to love better... As I become more aware I realize that this journey I'm on? This life time of experiences never stops...

The other night, I sat alone in a restaurant eating dinner. I was reading my Kindle. There was a gentleman sitting three tables away also eating alone, reading his Sony eReader. He was wearing a dream catcher ear ring with a golden feather on it. I figured he was probably my kind of people *chuckle*. Anyhow after I ordered, he started to talk to me. It was a good conversation about mythology and free ebooks and how Amazon and publishers are stupid for not realizing their audience very well...He talked a little about how he had the sony ereader and his wife had the kindle. Then we started talking about scifi and I mentioned I taught Mythology classes. Somehow I ended up mentioned the mythic goddess Inanna. We talked about Inanna and strong female characters in books and novels. He said he didn't know the story of Inanna very well, so I told him about the myth of Inanna and her trip to the underworld, where Ereshkigel - Queen of the Underworld just laughed at the boldness of Inanna and took off Inanna's skin and hung it on the wall. Fascinating myth. Anyhow the guy said, "Hey I know a song about Inanna" and began singing this "The Burning Times" (the refrain goes: Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hecate, Demeter, Kali, Innana). In the RESTAURANT. This guy I didn't know, will likely never see again, began singing this song...to *me*. What is odder is that I KNEW the song. I almost had a GLEE moment and started to sing along, but my inhibition and the people staring in the restaurant held my tongue. But it is such an obscure song... anyhow. I bring it up because my life? Never ceases to be fascinating. Just when I think I am old and my 'wild' experiences are over? Something like this happens to remind me that my life? Isn't even half over yet. I haven't even begun to experience what the universe has in store for me...

The more I connect with my spirituality, the more these connected experiences happen in my life. So, obviously if the other night was any indication? There are plenty of wild experiences left! Plenty of spiritual moments. Plenty of love, passion, delight, mystery, pain, sorrow and joyful experiences left in my life to savor.

I want to be healthy so I can delight in all of them.

Now, tonight? I'm headed off to a hockey game! GO TIPS!

3 comments:

Michael said...

I've heard the refrain before: it's the Goddess chant, a common one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDSu0-qDFQ8

Never heard the Burning Times song before, though.

MaryKate said...

If you click the link in the post it will take you to the song. I love the song, it's by Christy Moore a guy who sings pretty pagan oriented songs, I bet you'd love his music Mike :)

MaryKate said...

Remember my darling MK, it is the journey, NOT the destination that is truly important. Love you


Love you too Lori!!! Sorry I accidentally deleted your comment <3